January 2011
13 posts
“Honey, you’re gunna get a bad reputation the way you’re...”
– 60-some year-old Southern lady at The Flying Biscuit in Atlanta (circa 2007), as I dined with five gentleman. I more or less hate the South, but I do love reminiscing about that one year I spent there many moons ago.
Telling My Boyfriend That I Was Pregnant
mybiggestregretever:
My biggest regret ever is telling my boyfriend that I was pregnant. He immediately enlisted in the military. I’m not really pregnant.
[Female, 18]
Good point
Me: Supervisor Mike is wearing flannel today. FLANNEL
Lopa: You should have played the Old Spice ad while staring at him
Me: The worst part is, he was wearing it tucked into his jeans. Like a dad or something. I was so sexually confused as I stared at him. I love flannel, but it must be worn with dignity.
Lopa: Oh God, so it was more like Karn? SOUL MATES.
Me: Yes it was very Karn like. Except he was also wearing glasses. Like black-framed hipster ones. I'm so confused.
Lopa: Well then that's the perfect blend of elitist and wilderness man.
I sent my sister a text the other day that read,”A sister is a friend from nature. Thought you should know.”For me this was a first step toward reconciliation. My tacky, yet sincere, version of a white flag, if you will. She has yet to respond.
So here goes attempt two: Maria, I know you’re reading this. I watched Dr Who today. I laughed 4 times. Please love me.
"That's the girl who hogs all the sausages"
would be a terrible reputation to have.
